Since April 2018, I have been through a strange process and I am today nearly at the end of discovering the whole truth about it.
I must say that I was unable to talk about this because I was afraid of being considered as :
- A crazy person who lost connection with the "true reality of things"...
-A mentally sick person with an obsessive behavior, obsessed by a person she has never met on the physical...
-A healer who maybe is dealing with entities from lower planes
- A depressive woman whose aim is to have a man in her life whatever it would cost ! and so on...
None of these arguments are true as they don't relate to who I am, but they are few of the reasons why I didn't say anything publicly until today about my twin flame's connection. Many of my very close friends and family know about this today, as it was seen on me at a physical level.
I recently came to talk about it with my mother, my sisters and one of my two sisters in law, because they were witnessing those energetic downloads on me, each time of the day he connected.
As I went there, my Daddy came from the Spirit World with very ancient beings to provide me with protection opening a new channel for my healing journey. This new channel is inaccessible for my twin flame today, because of what he has been doing to me for 5 years now.
So my twin flame has no more access to my old channel that was closed, and then closed for him too. He is yet trying to go into the new one but I am blocking him each time he comes in 24h/7.
This situation has been so hard to cope with, because twin flames' love should be unconditional and free from opportunism, narcissism, using the channel of the twin to give healing to clients without her conscious and physical consent, directing energetic violence to its other soul's part, such as anger when the needs of the needy twin flame were not met.
This is what made me understand very clearly that the energy wasn't coming from a higher vibrational being or a spiritual multidimensional guides I thought when it came into me at first. I actually have been acting so innocently opening myself to his demands, not knowing that he was my TF in reality. I will explain this more further in this article.
The Process from its Beginning
I definetly realized one day from where the burning energy was coming. It came in when the TF connection was activated.
At first, I was said to help him energetically, and recognize the other part of our soul. The truth is that he was conscious and knew that we were twin flames before I knew it myself a year later during my QHHT with Tracy Moore, in Florida...
And so he was already well armed to connect to me so that I give him and open my own channel and field to him, and so that he can connect through me, to enter my energy body and send the energy to his clients.
This may sound unbelievable but it was true. I remember at first when he began connecting back on April 2018, just a day or two after I was back from a travel to my hometown, I was invaded by that energy and even was laying down each time it was coming through many times during the day.
I didn't look at the clock before, then I realized that the energy was slowing me down, I was loosing many of my clients, unable to focus on anything during the day, and my nights were also harder because he was working on me during my sleep time, and still he has been doing this... I was awakened by huge downloads coming from him... I didn't know it was him at that time, until few days later when I fell on his picture on Instagram and felt the same energy coming through. It never ceased since that, but at first, there were days in the week he didn't connect and it was most of it during Sundays.
He was like Off until the end of the day, to come back at the evening.
I wasn't sure he was doing this on purpose, consciously and tried to understand the process. I thought it was part of the twin flames' connection... But it was more than that, because it wasn't me who was connecting to him. The connection has always been orchestrated by him.
I was also hearing him saying telepathically to me "I didn't connect for a while" when he did not connect for more than an hour, and "Connect !" when he wanted me to connect to him at the same time as he used to do... It was as if I was talking with myself but it was him talking to me, and giving me the instructions to join him... He also had the ability to say "I connect now!" and he connects 15 minutes later to take me by surprise when I began blocking him.
I never had in all my current life to deal with a being who was weak, in lack of energy, but powerful enough to manipulate me telepathically and to enter my energy field and sacred channel.
I helped him though... because I felt so much compassion for him, not knowing why...
How I Helped and Supported him Though...
I have supported him with energy for more than 2 years, and also asked Higher Self, with the permission of my twin flame who said that I could ask, during the QHHT I had with Tracy Moore back on 2019, in Florida, where he also resides, to bring him back to who he was as HS said that it was what he had to do.
So he came back to helping people after two years during which he stopped giving QHHTS and healing sessions, because as he said to me, he has been drained and shut down. In one of his oldest messages he said to me that he closed his IG page and stopped helping people for more than a year because he felt drained all the time by his clients. I feel it was for another reason.
This change happened exactly two days after my QHHT because he put on IG a post about coming back to help people again....
Hopefully I kept a copy of the QHHT video with Tracy who also was a witness of what was happening to me, and was seeing and feeling those connections he programmed to my energy field.
At first I felt like it was a part of my mission to help him, but then I noticed that the energetic connections I was experiencing with him were like short but so intense that it wouldn't last more than 2 to 3 minutes. I was said that he was continually ejected from my energy field and that I had to stop giving him when he asked me to give him. This was the decision I received directly from my Higher Self back on December 2020, and told my twin flame that I will no more support him energetically. But this didn't stop the connections he programmed anyway.
He connected at any time, during the day and during my night sleep too, for the only purpose to get some energy from me. So when I blocked him he started coming through each half an hour approximately. He is always active and I am always the victim and the channel he uses for himself and others who come to him for healing. Some days when he has no healing sessions or less than he does habitually, I feel like I have been relaxed for a little while, and I can go through my daily normal activities peacefully and without being stressed out by his energetic demands.
In the astral plane, I was shown by my Spiritual Guide a shadowy male being who was sitting in a dark room, wearing a black hat like wizard, and turning the large metallic gray clock hands continually. That was him...hidden in his dark secret space.
I really did not understand why he was doing this to me. I cannot believe it was a karmic debt related to me as I chose to be in the physical body I am in currently.
It is somehow more related to his own part of our soul and chosen body. He is the only one who can unlock his personal blocage and see the light from within himself. Healing him wasn't my task. I was only the trigger to his own healing process and to mine.
My healing was about being independent and relying on myself. It was also about avoiding narcissistic relationships as I have already been there with my ex-husband.
I now know that I have nothing to do to help him, and my only mission was to help myself. I feel one and a deep healing has occurred in me, especially when I was back in my hometown connecting to my ancestors and to the my Over Soul this year, as it is there that I chose to incarnate in this lifetime.
And so, I was going through a process in which I had to understand my feelings, my visions, my own guidance. This process helped me realize that everything about twin flames should be done from an internal not an external view and space.
Each half of the two entities who incarnated as ONE SOUL on this planet has a learning and teaching space to connect to for their highest good. If the two entities are healers the process of inner work is so complex, as they may experience a quantum entanglement that may happen once the connection on the physical takes place. This is why he could feel me when I activated my own old healing channel.
I had to learn how to close my new channel each time he came in without my own consent.
It was not from an ego drive that I began doing this, it was because he was engaged in a process without asking for my permission openly and on the physical plane. He was asking telepathically but it wasn't even a demand. It was "I am connecting"... The chorus that I have been hearing each time he came through.
I wanted to be Me and to be respected as the physical being I chose to be. And so for me it was without any doubt a transgression of my inner freedom and a disrespectful behavior toward me. He was acting like an energy or a ghost.
As each part of the soul has incarnated in a separate physical body, each part of the soul has its own energy field and separate chakras system. If one of the other part of the soul tries to enter the body of the other, the entanglement takes place and the two energy fields are melted. This is what he did to have access to my energy field as he was my soul's masculine side, in a state of lack. He started using my energy field for his healing sessions to protect himself from being drained. It was me the pray, the giver and the one caught off guard. The innocent who don't know the dark side of people.
Discussing the Arguments of Fear He Put on Me, Preventing me from Speaking my Truth...
- For the first argument or fear, I can say that I am not disconnected from any reality whether it is physical or non physical. I am a totally grounded person with an open wide crown chakra that helps me connect to higher realms and higher vibrational beings during meditations, astral projections, healing sessions, and can feel their presence and energy when they come in, which helped me make a difference between a human and a non human energy when they connect to me. So I actually have the person in my visions when she or he connects telepathically or energetically from a human physical body. I have also the information about the non human entity when it connects to my energy field and most of the time I am able to know who is the being. Most of the non human beings who connect to me are higher vibrational beings and their energy is very special. It isn't warm or cold... it is felt as a specific vibration in my hands and body and I must say that the guides and higher spirits from higher realms never invade your body in an agressive way, meaning "too warm, hot" or too cold.
So when my twin flame connected to me I was burning with an intense fire from my sacral chakra to my crown for a while, unless I stopped it. I hopefully was guided to techniques to stop him from burning me that way. The guidance came directly from my Higher Self... It still works now.
Beside this, and concerning the second argument
- I am not dealing with any mental health issues and never did in my whole life. I have been raised in a strong family with my two parents, two sisters and two brothers. I have been surrounded by love and taken care of by my parents all the time in this current human life. I have a very strong connection with my mother and my passed daddy, my grandmother (from my mothers' side), and my ants and uncles. I have never felt abandoned or left aside by my family and best friends. Of course as many people I had challenges with relationships but never to become mentally sick or to feel like I needed others to be ME.
My daddy's advice to me was always to cultivate independency and self sufficiency so that I would never be a burden for any man, and be a powerful self relayant woman, which allowed me to study for more than 30 years during this life. I hold a doctorate degree today, I have my own business, I have money for the living, and I am currently going through a new professional path to sustain and nurture my life and myself.
So I am STRONGER than many may think, more than my twin flame would think too, because actually his purpose has been to manipulate me, since the beginning. I have been through huge challenges in my life, but I always have kept self faith with natural abilities to always find a way out, and see the light within. I have overcome hard challenges and difficulties because I have a strong will.
- I have been guided to the healing path because I have been put through a very hard and challenging relationship with my ex husband. I have overcome so much of what I have been through and did this work with spiritual guides from higher dimensions not even human beings.
This explains how I can make a difference between a human and non human (Higher spiritual beings) energies, and of course lower energies from lower planes. All this has been also given to me when I began my ascension and awakening process as I really met my spiritual guides during a professional assessment and reconversion. I talked about this experience that I had in a public place in my book "Travelling Parallel Worlds: The Hidden Reality Beyond the Physical Dimension", and in some of my articles that I posted on transients.info, you can find the link to my author page here on the first page of my website.
Recently, I have published a collection of Sacred Poems on KDP-Amazon, and dedicated them to my twin flame to thank him for showing up in this lifetime of mine, even if it wasn't the way I hoped.
I am not expecting anything from him at all. And this is very true. Most of the twin flames end up being together, this is not my aim. I want to live my life as an independent woman, and I don't feel the need to live with him at all. I feel whole. I have felt this wholeness since I left my ex husband back on 2012.
So I do believe now that many writings about twin flames aren't really true, and each experience is given to be lived with its own wisdom and challenges.
I have been guided toward what I am doing and to what I am going to do for the next level of my awakening by my Spiritual Guides, and I can recognize their energetic signature as I saw them and had a deep connection to them all the time. So I am able to know if the energy that comes through me is human or non human.
As an astral traveller, I have always been in higher realms and met high dimensional beings from many star systems. One of my most amazing experiences took place in New Atlantis, where I met the beings and the land, dowloaded its energy and signature that are well known to me now.
I have been given a natural ability which is to know who is the being who connected to me energetically, and what to do with them. So I also have been given a precious tool to block the daily 24/7 energetic connections and demands of my twin flame to my energy field.
-I have never been diagnosed with depression. I go to the gym 6 days a week, and also who go to the spa, the swimming pool frequently, and have the ability to take care of myself.
I write, draw, teach French and never felt alone in my whole life. I can stay by myself for days and months, and this never bothers me. I also have very good friends who are always happy to meet me and hang out with me when we schedule meetings.
My number of destiny is 7, and it says a lot about me. I also have worked on overcoming some relationship issues with people who don't respect my need of privacy and me-time. This is what my twin flame doesn't respect at all. He is continually trying and trying to use me as an energetic channel for his clients' healing sessions, something that I didn't sign in before incarnating and something that I will never allow during my current lifetime !
He is doing so because he has been shut down by Source and unable to do any healing session at all; he is doing this because he didn't respect our contract before incarnating in this lifetime which was about working on being LightSouls for the new earth.
He is acting from a very bad ego and is only interested in his personal needs.
So, from my own side, I feel that I am acting from a healthy ego.
A healthy ego is necessary during a physical incarnation to be able to stop those people who want to do anything to you, to manipulate you and to abuse you. And yes He has been trying and trying to abuse me, in vain, because I am a strong and healthy person, who has strong boundaries, a high intellect, and moreover a deep sense of justice and ethic.
My respect for him and my sense of morality pushed me to find a way to understand what was happening with him and to me.
I did self healing sessions, QHHT and other spiritual past life regression sessions, because I didn't want to harm him. It seemed that he was all along misusing my natural kindness and sense of morality which are the results of the academic studies I have followed during my current lifetime.
These are the qualities that I have gained through this lifetime, because actually I didn't only read spiritual books from the healing board, but many philosophers, poets, writers from the academic boards, and because I am also an academic researcher and author.
-Another argument that comes along was the well known hot flashes that women experience before or during menopause. I have never had hot flashes after my Reconnection. They stopped as by magic and as I go to the gym and sauna everyday, I couldn't have them. I sweat at the gym and sauna sufficiently which heals my body.
This was one of the things he was trying to convince me with using telepathic manipulation, so that I never find the truth or doubt that it was him. It was like a spider web that he surrounded my energy field with, nurturing himself first, using me and just only energetically, as a source of energy for himself and his clients.
I discovered the truth one day when I fell on his picture though I knew him on Facebook for at least 3 years at that time. The energy I was feeling each time he connected to me came rushing through as a sign for me. This is also how I always feel the energies of those around me. It is not always felt like a type of temperature (hot or cold), it is different from a person to another. With him it was an immediate recognition of his energy each time he tried to invade my energy field.
How does it Happen ? How is it Felt?
He uses synchronistic numbers related to the hours of the day and the night in both my time zone and his. We have 7 hours difference as he lives in Miami.
This is why he always connects at hours that are brought to 11 for most of them. He connects for example at 11:11 or around it in my time zone and his which are 05:11am Miami time, 11:11 am or few minutes before France time... 11:11 Miami time / 17:11 France Time. In reality he connects all the time even when I am asleep and seems like he never sleeps, or sleeps for 2/3 hours only.
It is a ritual that he instituted consciously and the only way to stop him is to just block him from coming in, each time he connects.
He connects each hour everyday and when I shut the connection, and block him, he tries again each 30 minutes or so.
When he didn't get the energy for his clients he is angry and starts connecting again and again energetically burning my sacral chakra, my face, my crown and my whole body, as if I was used without my own consent. It happened to me when a client connects distantly 2 or 5 minutes before the session to feel that burning energy, then it is gone once I am in. With him, it was not gone at all, it was intense each time and I was sweating hard if I don't stop him.
I realized and with the help of someone who is also in the healing board that I have been only used as a channel of energy. As if I wasn't human, which made me also realize that he was truly unhuman and cold hearted with me. Acting without any ability of understanding that as a mother, as a teacher I can have tasks to do during the days and that I cannot be at his service 24/7. All that was not important to him. All that he was thinking as important was his own business and how to get the energy from me without my own consent because he doesn't want us to meet on the physical.
To the End
It was for me a revelation of who was my sacred masculine. And what an awful and pointless side of my soul. I felt like I was truly holding something heavy in me. But then I realized that his part was his own, related only to the work he has to do, and that it wasn't mine. So I detached from him slowly but consciously. I don't feel like I really need him to live my life. I feel like I have been given the opportunity to discover that side of my soul, and how it was going through a healing process to awaken to its truest self and mission. My Sacred masculine is nevertheless the only responsible of healing that part of him, which made me feel so comfortable and freed my soul.
I guess, as many of my friends have told me, as many healers told me too, that this was new and not very common in the twin flames' journey and connection. This is what happens when one of the physical entities holding a part of the soul, choose not to honor its contract and life mission. I cannot be responsible of this, because, from my point of view the work I had to do is now done which was about the Crystalline Light Body Activation. I have done that part and honored it.
I have heard from some Twin Flames, that it may happen when the two are healers that their channels are connected in some ways as they feel each other during healing sessions. I had to cut that cord for my own well being.
My personal opinion and inner guidance led me to understand and believe that many of what is said about twin flames is very different from a case to another.
Everything that happens, takes place in our lives for a reason.
It made realize that it isn't necessarily about being together but also about going through a healinG awakening process, to be a true Light worker and a TRUE 5D entity holding an intense Light in a physical body and dimension, to learn how to ground these energies on this planet and at a core level into the physical body we are hosting during this lifetime.